21 May 2013

"Don't Make Excuses For Him. You Can't Put Flowers In An Asshole And Call It A Vase"

This picture was found on my Facebook earlier today. I know, I know Facebook has become a bit of a cunt filled land of stupid pictures lately. Such as the seemingly morality filling “Oh, look at this dude, he lost his legs in the war. Press like to magically make them grow back, or keep scrolling if you hate HEROES!” By the way I know the whole “Ohhh you're not my real friend” pun at the start of this post was a joke, but if you've ever 'liked' one of these pictures and felt as if you've positively contributed to the world, then I'm pretty sure our friendship has indeed reached its limit.

When it comes to the issue of friendship, it really is a very sensitive and important issue to me because I am someone who really treasures my friends. If I dare to open my mouth and call someone a friend, then that person truly is my friend. Lots of people have had are are still having problems with the issue of friendship. Me, Myself and I inclusive. People want to know who a real friend is and who a fake friend is. What I feel is that we have a big problem with what it means to have and be a friend. First of all I would love to make this simple statement very clear, which is the fact that in order to have a friend, you MUST be a friend. Some of us have problems being real friends to people while we expect others to be real to us. Sorry to burst your bubble but it doesn't work that way. You NEED a real friend, then BE a real  friend. Whatever you sow, you reap. Simple as ABC!!!! Okay, I won't deny the fact that some people have actually been good friends to others and have ended up being hurt by those people. That's the other side of life, where you get to meet the good, the bad and the ugly. If you are in such a category, I definitely well know that the number of real friends you have, would be more than the fake so please do not stress your pretty or handsome self being worried about those fake friends who ain't worth it.

Now what does friendship really mean? The dictionary defines a friend as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. In addition to this dictionary definition, I would like to add that a real friend to me is someone who:
  • A fake friend will expect you to drop everything for her if disaster strikes, but will brush you off if the same thing happens to you. A real friend is there for you just as much as you’re there for her.
  • A real friend makes time for you because she genuinely adores hanging out with you. A fake friend will only make plans with you if her other, “better” plans fall through. (PS: You’re totally better than her other plans!)
  • A real friend will help you look your hottest for a big night out. A fake friend will help you look hot—as long as she thinks she looks hotter.
  • If a fake friend asks you to help her move, she makes you do all the heavy lifting and then refuses to lift a finger when you ask her for the same favor in return. A real friend not only helps you move unasked, but also helps you pick out the best color paint for your walls—and has a painting party with you to get the work done!
  • If you say you need some space, a real friend will give it to you. A fake friend will either crowd your or start bad-mouthing you behind your back—or both.
  • A real friend will encourage you in your dreams, no matter how crazy they sound. A fake friend will tell you, “That sounds great! But ….” and subtly sow seeds of doubt.
  • When you’ve broken up with a guy, a real friend will volunteer immediately to come over with ice cream, Kleenex and booze. A fake friend will suggest you calm down.
  • A real friend will lend you her expensive bag when you’ve got a big event coming up unasked. A fake friend will tell you where you can buy one like it.
  • A fake friend loves to hear all about your failures and disappointments. A real friend gives you a shoulder to cry on, but then reminds you about all the great things you’ve done — and will go on to do.
  • A fake friend is someone in your heart you know you wouldn’t miss if you never saw her again. A real friend? She’s the one you hope will grow old with you so you can be crazy little old ladies playing gin rummy and drinking martinis together!

I don't think it should be that difficult to be a good and real friend to someone. The truth is I know girls have more problems with this than guys. I really cannot explain why 100% but I think it's safe to say that, that was just how we were created. But to be honest, I don't see any reason why ladies would not be real friends to themselves. I think it's just a big matter of immaturity. No more, No less. Whatever other reason you would love to give to me, I put it to you that embedded somewhere is the issue of maturity. I would know because I am a lady and I have been there. I have sat myself down and analysed every failed friendship I have had with my female friends and discovered that there were large atoms of immaturity in those failed friendships either on my path or on the path of my ex-friends (Hope am allowed to call them that). When you are matured both Physically, Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally and Everynally. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that when you are matured in all these levels, you will definitely be and have a real friend.

We cannot survive without friends because man is not an island. In one way or the other you will always need someone to depend on. So go out and be a real friend to someone today in order to have one for yourself too. Always remember that. 
Many people will walk in and out of your heart, but only a few will leave a footprint and those few are what we call real friends
Are you?